Now hear this! You may live in this dwelling with me, but keep in mind
your sole purpose for existing is to care for me. I pray God keeps you
able to do so.
Feed
me well and promptly so that I may then find a quiet place to lie down
and stare at you. If that place happens to be on top of the television
set, do not keep trying to dislodge me even though my tail is hanging in
the middle of the picture.
I
expect full run of the premises, including the kitchen table. I sniff your
food only to see if I would prefer it to mine. Brush me twice-a-week. Pet
me as often as you wish, but I can do without the idiotic statements you
utter as you do so.
When
I bump my head against your leg or cheek, it means I accept you as part
of the environment. Keep in mind that if I thought the lady next door would
feed me better, I'd be out of here in a minute. If you're looking for loyalty,
get a dog.
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Owner's Prayer
